Greed and Gratitude
On the glory of reconnecting with individuals and severing ties with institutions
I have long felt uneasy about the power dynamics between institutional donors rooted in colonising countries and grantees born in (former) colonies. Despite securing and using donor funds to run oral history and community projects in different Arabic speaking countries, I did not worry for myself or my team at Sharq.Org1 because although my roots are deeply embedded in the region’s soil, my UK upbringing has afforded me privilege and power that many organisations and activists nurtured in and nurturing communities in Arabic speaking countries are denied.
I highlighted in a 2020 report the need for NGOs in Syria to prioritise cooperative building and volunteering to limit long-term reliance on donor funds. I had been commissioned to write that report by the head office of a large German donor that, through its local offices, had funded Sharq.Org projects for many years.
We parted ways last year. It wasn’t pleasant. They withheld the last tranche of funds from us for a year, every month or so agreeing to release it if I supplied yet more paperwork. I did, but the requests kept coming. Every time I satisfied the requirements of one, they’d send another. After five or so times on this merry-go-round, the head of office emailed me to confirm that he was not going to authorise release of the funds because our reporting was incomplete. I was enraged and ready to go to court. Colleagues suggested I use my media connections to shame them, but I wanted justice not a mud-slinging match.
“To be denied funds from our long-time donor would suggest that we have acted in bad faith and this, after ten years working in service of our people and their freedom, would be a big blow,” I responded. This was ultimately my main concern. Funds are hard to come by, but still can be replenished far more easily than a dented reputation. Two more rounds of paperwork and five months later, he emailed to confirm that despite rejecting the “insinuations and accusations that you have made against me personally and against [the organisation]” they would be transferring the funds before the new year.
I responded. “I share your relief and your disappointment, and so we have finally found some common ground :) I wish you and yours a splendid Christmas and a fruitful year ahead.” I tend to believe that if you can be jovial in communication, then it’s best to do so. It is a reflection of my values, and I wasn’t going to let a bureaucrat directed by a political agenda adversely impact my behaviour.
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“All donor agencies are politically steered,” affirmed the representative of a European donor agency, during a roundtable discussion on donor responsibilities that I was grateful to join last week, and which stirred up all these latent memories and thoughts about donor behaviour. “Many grantees are sceptical about an agenda that is vocal about women but silent on occupation,” shared a human rights lawyer who works at a women’s rights NGO. The response of many influential countries and donors to the assault on Gaza has shredded whatever remained of the façade that framed their self-interest as interest in the development of communities and countries they have historically destroyed.
I recounted my theory about donors to another group of people who had also gathered with the intent of enhancing cooperation and understanding of the Arabic speaking region. European donor organisations, I suggested, have ultimately replaced spies in the role of information gathering for states. Every application for funds includes at least a page, often several, in which the local activist or organisation outlines the problem they have identified, its effect on the country, and how they expect to address it. Such home grown information is highly valuable, and grant giving programmes are far cheaper and safer than training and embedding spies.
To my surprise and delight, another writer in attendance was able to confirm my theory. He had once been in the presence of executives at an American donor agency while they were discussing who to fund. “The one we can get the most information out of,” they concluded.
While donors often speak about the importance of culture, context and collaboration, their actions often do not reflect their sermons. “Too often we find ourselves having to work on South to North advocacy instead of working collaboratively,” shared a programme director of a transnational non-profit during the roundtable. I was relieved to hear executives at grantee organisations speaking so openly and critically about the trials of working with donors. The challenges are many. Local NGOs are used as implementors rather than agents, while women are seen as victims in need of protection rather than participating stakeholders.
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Generosity should not be measured by the financial value assigned the gift you offer, but by its value to the person receiving it. In this regard, many donors and donations cannot be viewed as generous, because they serve the agenda of the donor while ignoring the expressed needs of the receiver.
I recall being gifted a designer sports watch 20 years ago. Many people would be delighted to receive such a gift. I’m not one of them. I have never worn a watch, was not sporty, and could easily have found a thousand things more worthy of spending a thousand pounds on. Despite his gift reflecting his values, not mine, he wanted me to show gratitude for his generosity, just as donors want grantees to be grateful, contorting themselves and their projects to serve the agenda of imperial institutions.
Back then I obliged, smiled in gratitude, and wore the watch for a day or two before banishing it to some darkened corner where it has since remained, adding value to nothing and no one. Nowadays, I save my smiles for people whose generosity is genuine; individuals with whom I share a desire to contribute to the betterment of our communities, not institutions that seek to control them.
Thank you for reading this essay, published in Tales from a Rebellious Region. To read more about the motivation behind and my intentions for this publication, read earlier posts here.
If you’re interested in reading more of the essays I have yet to write, please subscribe and hold me accountable for writing and sharing every week.
with gratitude,
Reem